ZOMBICIDE: INVADER EPIC FAIL – PART 4

WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE

So, as feedback appeared criticising some of the campaign strategies and products, CMON ignored and then removed the comments. On a few occasions they appeared to respond to requests… but in reality it appeared to be pre-planned and had nothing to do with the feedback. And, as funding lagged and the campaign threatened to be an abysmal failure, CMON panicked. They did things that suggested they’d lost faith in the product and, in so doing, unsettled backers and potential backers.

They dumped an entire second Core Box into the campaign as a second expansion. Clearly it had been designed for another campaign following this one, but there it was. In addition to the Civilian or Soldier pledge, a further US$90 would add the Dark Side Core Box to what a backer would get. A further 72 miniatures plus 3 exclusives. Again, some of the SG content was dependent upon this pledge. If you didn’t add it, then you didn’t get those SGs. They’d puled this last strategy out of the same place most of the others had come from… their arse. And, lo! It, too, was shit! Arseholes producing shit?! Surprise!

To unlock all of the SGs for the campaign, most of which were exclusives, you needed to pledge US$240. That was US$20 more than the Core Box and two expansions for Green Horde, US$90 more than Black Plague. CMON got greedy and ignored the financial component of its target demographic. The pledges suddenly became unaffordable. It was a psychological kick in the balls that tightened the grip of backers (and potential backers) on their wallets, the market contracting like the proverbial sphincter CMON was attempting to violate.

What were the people at CMON thinking? Their market comprised a great many backers (and potential backers) who had suffered similar treatment under the dictatorship of GW. You either spend big, throw wads of cash at GW for increasingly shitty product, or fuck off. In response, some backers had to choose some content over other content, and they were not happy. Some of them adopted the same ‘all or nothing’ attitude CMON used in a kickstarter. Those watching saw the funding barely increase even as the number of backers slightly decreased. It was astonishing.

So how did CMON respond to the fact that even this didn’t motivate any serious inroads into increasing funding and backers? Well, all the Optional buys were not really helping. More of the same crap wasn’t the answer. Most backers just didn’t have the money to add it even if CMON slapped on an ‘exclusive’ tag to make them feel like they were missing out. Instead, they opted to throw in more of what they called ‘parallel’ SGs. We all knew exactly what it was when we saw it. We could smell it.

It was the reek of desperation. It had become exponentially worse as the campaign progressed. It didn't inspire confidence. The addition of the Dark Side Core Box was accompanied by a series of exclusive ‘parallel’ SG models all at once. Not one every US$50-$80K being raised, but (at one point) three over just US$30K, and eight SG over just US$180K for a total of 25 additional models! Wow! It took funding of US$900K to be raised to get that many SG models during the Green Horde campaign!

Even so, the SG miniatures were not that great. Too many were just so bad people said they’d never even use them. Those who made a Civilian pledge would get 85, while those who made a Soldier pledge increased this by a further 14, and anybody that added Dark Side would get another 23. Most of these were exclusives. This was a total of 275 miniatures at a rate of around US$0.87 each, and we ignore the rules, cards and other crap because, clearly, it’s still about miniatures.

Proof? Look at the Green Horde campaign. In addition to miniatures as SGs, Green Horde included extra cards and other game content, as well as a Horde Tile and a box to stick all that SG crap into for storage. Backers were pleading for similar things (especially the box) in the last couple of days… but they were completely ignored in favour of more random miniatures. Someone suggested CMON must have a stack of them they never got to add.

In the very first update for the Green Horde campaign, it was announced they had reached its funding target of US$300,000 in just 7 minutes. They exceeded US$1M on its first day. CMON had given away 28 additional miniatures (15 less than Black Plague) as SG to reach this funding target. It took 15 minutes for Invader to reach its funding target of US$250,000, and it wouldn’t break US$1M until day 2. CMON had given away 37 additional miniatures (6 less than Black Plague but 9 more than Green Horde) as SG to reach this funding target.

Update 20 on day 7 of the Green Horde campaign saw the introduction of the Friends and Foes expansion Optional Buy, which came with an exclusive miniature. This led to the US$2M mark in the next update, 4 days earlier than Black Plague. Update 26, on day 10, also saw a SG Survivor changed to a Necromancer. Update 28 appeared on day 14, three days after the previous one, with a second Optional Buy expansion: No Rest for the Wicked. The pledge totals hadn’t really moved from US$2,450,000 in all that time. It also came with an exclusive miniature.

Update 39 saw the modification of a single miniature to a better pose after complaints about it… but nothing to deal with any others. The final two stretch goals were set at $270K, then another $300K from the previous one which, until then, had been about $100K apart. CMON either ran out of SGs or was unwilling to put more in. Absent from Green Horde were any Notorious Plague Character Zombies (like the ones in Black Plague) to add a little extra character to the game.

Now compare that to the shit-mess that was the Invader campaign. U-20 on day 2 saw the introduction of a Will Smith “Agent J” MIB based character unlocked in U-21 on day 3… but quickly vanished and was replaced with another random Space Marine, whoops, sorry, ‘soldier’, not long after for reasons unknown (but suspected to be legal action).  By day 9 the campaign had shat itself. It had made only 2/3 what Green Horde, and 3/4 what Black Plague, had at the same time.

CMON used U-32 to advertise the Space Marine, whoops, sorry, again, ‘soldier’, expansion Black Ops in an effort to boost sales, but never explained why anyone would wear trench-coats over bulky power armour. A day later they added more Optional Buys to try to get that SG funding target to move. By day 12, U-37, CMON introduced the first of its so-called ‘parallel’ SG, a series of exclusive miniature content each linked to one of the two expansions that served as part of the ‘Soldier Pledge’ or Optional Buys.

This did not go over well, with many backers believing (rightly so) the content should have been part of those expansions to begin with, or available to all backers regardless. By day 12 the campaign had only reached US$1,610K where Black Plague had been US$2,000K and Green Horde was US$2,450K. It had taken 62 SG miniatures to get there, 3 less than Black Plague but 26 more than Green Horde at the same funding levels!

CMON presented Dark Side as an Optional Buy, the second expansion, an entire Core Box. Dark Side was clearly destined, originally, for a second campaign but when CMON realised the setting was going to tank they tossed it in to get rid of it. It came with three exclusive miniatures that looked, for all intents and purposes, to have been cobbled together at the last minute. Again, absent from Invader and Dark Side were any Notorious Plague Character Zombies (like the ones in Black Plague) to add a little extra character to the game… or even any real Zombies at all. Just ‘Xenos’.

By the time US$2,000K funding rolled over, another 12 miniatures had been added as SG, 2 more than Black Plague and 33 more than Green Horde, at the same funding target! And 4 and 8 days (respectively) later! Two of those additional SG miniatures were part of the bullshit ‘parallel’ SG process, one each added to the Black Ops and Dark Zone Optional Buys. And you couldn’t replace the Invader core box with the Dark Side core box. You had to get Invader to get Dark Side. Backers were not happy.

Day 15 was just a confusing mess of SGs being offered and met, some presented much earlier but quickly forgotten as others appeared in even quicker succession and reverse ordered to the point it became utterly confusing to know what was what and why. Then, just to make matters worse, on day 17, U-46 announced, after funding level US$2,080K, an additional 9 miniatures would be added to Dark Side as part of three (previously bulk-rush mentioned in U-42) SG funding targets (US$1,950K, US$2,010K, and US$2,070K), with one already having been listed as unlocked in U-43.

No explanation was provided for any of this, and the announcement also included another Optional Buy. What a friggin mess. U-50 on day 20 saw another ‘parallel’ SG added to Dark Side, available only if it was added it to their Pledges, as well as idiotic heated debates over a SG miniature that CMON had decided to modify ‘in response to backer requests’. Given CMON always provided an alternative ‘modified’ sculpt for one miniature each campaign, it looked more like this was a pre-planned ‘response’ stunt.

Update 51 on day 21 saw the addition of yet another Optional Buy. This one provided more of the models backers would get in the Invader and Dark Side Core Boxes (albeit, slightly different sculpts), as well as in two of the SGs, for US$30. It was exclusive to the campaign, only available if you already pledged in the campaign, which meant you got a bunch of them already. They would not be available at retail. Customers couldn’t buy them outside the campaign. More stupidity.

Update 53 on day 23 added a character based on a villain from Dune who, some backers posted on the campaign site, infamously liked to rape and murder, and even wanted to have sex with his nephew. It triggered a flame war as trolls unleashed offensive language and idiotic behaviour on whoever dared objected to it or suggest alternative ideas for a more appropriate character. The cyber-bullying had been escalating the whole campaign.

It didn’t help when CMON added another SG miniature (Gold Coast Gary) which closely resembled a notorious paedophile, Gary Glitter, who brutalised children for decades. These additions, and the introduction of untended ‘orphans’ as civilian Survivors in this setting, began to make it look like CMON was populated with predators. So CMON stepped in to calm things down with a sincere apology and some serious rethinks on its product and campaign… I’m just kidding.

No, for U-57 they added two more SG based on an obscure tele series that few people had seen and, of them, most had found idiotic offensive in a manner that only added to the concerns expressed about the apparently unhealthy appetites in this market. The fanboys, of course, went on high alert and began trolling anybody who didn’t gush over it, revealing what many suspected about them. It was the US$3M mark. The campaign had finally reached it… with all the pomp of a dead rat floating in a sewer.

And to close out the campaign, did CMON follow their Stephen Hawking tribute with a box for backers to store all that additional crap in? No, they added one last miniature as the funding absent during the campaign suddenly poured in despite the previous lack of interest. It finished like a 95 year old man who finds himself in a room filled with gold-digging playboy bunnies, the delusional belief that, somehow, he has achieved all he planned, will get everything he wants… and there’s not a Viagra pill in sight.

Clearly, strategies that pander to limited intellects, ignorance and trolls, with bullshit and low-quality product, does more than elevate dickheads into politics.  At one point, on day seven, they only added another 186 Backers and funding for the campaign increased by US$60K. And that was pretty much it for the day. That’s pretty poor. But what made the outcome of this campaign really surprising was the last two days, and how all of it suddenly, inexplicably, turned around.

“Zombicide: Invader campaign is over! Thank you for joining us in PK-L7! All of us at CMON and Guillotine Games would like to thank all of the backers for their faith in us and our game! In thanks for your support, and also to account for the amount raised by the Chinese, Thailand and Retail Pledges, we are bypassing the $100k missing to unlock the final, unreached Stretch Goal, Cloud!” That was what CMON posted in the Update after the campaign finished. But in reality…?

The number of backers and pledges leapt from 14,462 backers to 18,484 (+28%) in the last day, 30 in the last 90 seconds. They had been watching, undecided, until the eleventh hour, they suddenly decided to go all in. What had changed? Nothing. Makes you wonder if they were real backers at all… or if CMON did it themselves to save face, create an illusion of success, and those suspicious pledges (despite claims it was retail and Asian backers) simply won’t be dishonoured now the campaign has finished.

ZOMBICIDE: INVADER EPIC FAIL – PART 3

ZOMBICIDE: INVADER EPIC FAIL – PART 5